*~WOMEN'S ENGLISH~*

"Maybe" = No or yes depending on how its said.
"Uh-huh" = Yes but can't be bothered to actually say it.
"Can do" = Yes.
"If you want" = Yes.
"Shhh" = Yes.
"Not really" = No.
"Grrr" = No.
"Aaaaawwwww" = Yes give me more attention, I want more!
"You can do ____ if you want" = I want to do ____.
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to bitch.
"Sure.......... go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"Mmmmm" = I like it.
"Hmmmm" = I'm not impressed.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're not going to really like me for.
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me?" = Too late, you're dead.
"You're so......manly" = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
"You're certainly attentive tonight" = Is sex all you ever think about?
"Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs
"This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house
"Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!
"I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep
"Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive
"I'll be ready in a minute" = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
"I'm not yelling!" = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important

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